You as a caregiver hear this over and over; "Take care of yourself or you cannot take good care of your familly member.' What does 'taking care of yourself' mean, anyway? Suggestions are made to eat right, get adequate sleep, do enjoyable things, meet with people who are not needing your care as well.
Often caregivers are reluctant to discuss with others their feelings about caregiving. It is a very personal and private journey, unlike that anyone else has traveled. To whom do you go? Discuss with people who have been caregivers and often their story comes out making you feel worse. Sometimes they remember their struggles and cannot hear yours. I suggested to a caregiver today to limit the conversation with those kinds of people to "My mom is doing fairly well now." to avoid the next person's story which is often not helpful. You simply need someone to listen, not give advice.
Find one or two people who really care about you, who will listen to you share the often embarrassing or seemingly shameful thoughts and feelings that come with caregiving.
Sometimes a support group lends to this kind of intimacy. Everyone at a support group is caregiving now. They are not looking back recalling the worst. They are all looking for answers to the now of caring. Look on the Alzheimer website for groups in your town at the time you need. Their's is www.alz.org/manh.
and don't forget the Help Line @ 800-272-3900. The Alzheimer's Association is there for you.
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