Sunday, March 31, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

New location for my blog

My blog is available on our website www.StilMee.com. Click on blog and then enjoy some of the radio interviews and columns in the South Shore Senior News on the Publication page. See you there!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Listening is an act of love

I'm reading two books at the same time; yes, I do this a lot actually! Both are by Daniel H. Pink. One is Drive; the surprising Truth about what Motivates Us. The other is A Whole New Mind; Why Right-Brainers Will rule the World. . I bought these for two reasons. I wanted to know more about how to motivate people to look at the caregiving experience as more of a journey than a treadmill. The other was to generate new ideas in the Alzheimer coaching world to meet the challenges of the caregiver and the person with the diagnosis better.
One statement made in A Whole New Mind is the title of this blog post; listening is an act of love. Now, all my Stilmee coaches love their work. They want to help caregivers. I wonder, are we listening a lot as an act of love? Stories tell more about a person than a fact sheet ever can. Doctors who first listen to their patient will learn more than the one that interrupts the patient after about 20 seconds (yes, that is the average time a doctor listens to his patient).
I instruct caregivers to come with a list of about 5 (no more) concerns for the doctor. I was delightfully surprised the day when I went for my yearly physical and was handed a paper to write down the concerns I wanted addressed. My doctor had bought a new computer setup with a swivel chair facing me (last time she was looking at the computer affixed to the was and I sat behind her) and even invited me to share what was on the screen. She listened bless her soul. What a difference in the way I felt and the visit was shortened by far over the last time.
In nursing we are forced to check off boxes on a computer screen to 'prove' we know our patient well. All systems must be charted on every 8 hours; digestion, heart rate, urinary tract, etc. How are we getting this information? I think a lot of it is just that; checking boxes to the detriment of really knowing our patients. In my traiings in the hospital I emphasize connection. How many times do we actually connect with our patients? It is all about relationship.
Back to caregiving. People with dementia have slow processing cognitively, meaning that what is said is absorbed slower than normal and processing what they will say in return is slower. So we must wait...and listen...and listen some more. Ask the next question (make sure it is a closed-ended on that is easier to answer).
People with dementia need to be heard. That can only happen if we listen. Tell a story of a time you shared with them. State the feeling you had at that time. Then ask, did you have a similar feeling? That is a closed ended question. Then WAIT...listen and learn who that person is at that time. Caregiving is all about connection and relationship. To connect well we must listen.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Zeisel's ideas

I watched this PBS airing of John Zeisel's talk on his views of Alzheimer's patients abilities. It seemed a bit optimistic to me, but some other views paint quite a pessimistic view of their abilities. I'm talking with my friend and colleague Lynn Serper tomorrow to get her view. She has a methodology she uses with persons with cognitive disorders and claims to 'hold up' the progression of the disease for months to years. Her method is called The Serper Method. Now her middle name is Lazarus and she has earned the right to that name. Google her name or method and read about her story into dementia.
Tomorrow I am also going through a Virtual Dementia Tour (see the video I posted on my blog a few entries ago. Having it described by others who have gone through this tour I wonder what my views on its authentically representing what the person with Alzheimer's experiences. The Tour is designed to give the participant the sights, sounds, feelings (frustration, anger, annoyance) of a person with Alzhiemer's or a related dementia. I will let you know what I feel after this 'tour' into dementia and after talking with Lynn. My interest is in running a support group for diagnosed early stage dementia people, but I need to know how to do this the best way. I'll write more; stay tuned!

Dementia Weekly | Alzheimer's Weekly: Dr. Zeisel Succeeds with Alzheimer's Therapy

Dementia Weekly | Alzheimer's Weekly: Dr. Zeisel Succeeds with Alzheimer's Therapy: VIDEO Dr. John Zeisel wrote, " I'm Still Here: A New Philosopy of Alzheimer's Care". Watch ABC Chronicle discuss his u...

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Memory Coaching

We are beginning to get calls to coach the person diagnosed with MCI or early stage Alzheimer's. I began to think about what that person needs. He needs a safe place to connect with another trusted person who can validate feelings about the diagnosis, listen to the story,hear its impact of their self image, instill hope and teach strategies to increase the sense of independence and empowerment. The person must learn to toleratie fear and cope with the losses associated with the diagnosis. These losses may be loss of a dream, loss in anticipated independence, loss of a role (in work, in relationship), maybe even loss of friends and family. I would call this Memory Coaching. It is about time we helped the person diagnosed with a cognitive disorder learn about their condition, what changes to expect or anticipate and what simple strategies can help him work with others. If one gets a diagnosis of cancer or heart disease that person is inundated with information about his condition. When my husband had an emergency stent put in his main coronary artery, there was no lack of information both in writing in the form of a rather large detailed folder, and by one staff member after another teaching him about his medication, his activity level limitations (or not; he played racquetball 2 weeks later and returned to working the day after his operation).
So why is it that the person who receives a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment or early stage Alzhiemer's is merely given prescriptions, and little, usually nothing, more; no education, no helpful resources, sometimes not even the phone number of the Alzheimer's Association. Then after the diagnosis is given it is as if he is no longer a person. The medical personnel talks to the partner (wife, husband or child) as if the person with the disease no longer existed. I had one client whose doctor began the follow up visit with a cursury greeting to him and began talking to his wife. "How is it going? What can he still do?" He reached over, tapped the doctor on the chest, and said, "Hey you, I'm the one with the disease, not her! Talk to me." Good for him to do this. Too bad others don't as well.

Dementia Weekly | Alzheimer's Weekly: Vote for "Connecting to Combat Alzheimer's"

Dementia Weekly | Alzheimer's Weekly: Vote for "Connecting to Combat Alzheimer's": 50,000 volunteers (with and without Alzheimer’s) are needed to participate in hundreds of clinical trials. People with Alzheimer’s, their f...

Boston University Alzheimer's Disease Research Center has may research projects going on. I'm in 2 of them. I like doing that. Call 617-414-1078 or JoinADC@bu.edu. Find out more at www.bu.edu/alzresearch.