Gifts of Alzheimer's

True, Alzheimer's disease is a hard disease to handle and sadness is all part of the journey. Having been caregiver myself to 2 family members, I've experienced the angst and the joy of being allowed to share in that journey. I also am writing a book (my second) about my caregiving experience with my mother in law. I am calling it Confessions of an Alzheimer Coach for lack of a better title. It has been a 14 year learning experience with all of the mistakes we made along the way. I too think the book will help others to see that, even when one is a professional in the Alzheimer field, we make mistakes when the patient is our family.
I hope your book is more hopeful than you describe. People caring for a family member with Alzheimer's need hope. Not everyone will experience the experience like you or me. I fear setting them up to expect it to be a harrowing experience would be unkind. The caregiver needs education about the disease, how it manifests itself, and how to relate to the person now with the disease. I'd encourage you to purchase my book at my website. I'd like your comments on that. I wish you a lighter heart and a hope...there are blessings in it all.

Articles about Alzheimer's

If you'd like to read some of my columns in the South Shore Senior News, go to www.southshoresenior.com Click on my photo (Beverly Moore) and access the last 4 years of monthly column entries. The column is called Matters of the Mind. Also visit our websit www.StilMee.com.

The gifts of Alzheimer's

The following is a story from a special caregiver:
My husband, Vid and I left the neurologist's office in disbelief. Probable Alzheimer's was the diagnosis. My response...DENIAL! "I'm not ready to hear that." It was so difficult for me to say, "My husband has Alzheimer's." A diagnosis of depression, stroke, vascular dementia; anything but Alzheimer's was more acceptable.
Anger took over. I was furious with Vid. How could he have this terrible disease? What am I to do? I am not ready to be his caregiver.
I would cry everyday on my way to work. Dropping Vid at daycare was especially painful. He did not want to go. It was an emotional struggle for both of us. I had to be the 'bad guy' who coaxed him out of the car and into the day program. Due to Alzheimer's, his safety and daily structure were important as well as my piece of mind.
After years of fighting against the disease that has taken over our lives, I have found peace and so many rewards in my caregiving journey. Have I been alone on my journey? Absolutely not. There are so many wonderful people who have supported Vid and me; family, friends, professionals, support group leaders among them.
My nine year journey living with the knowledge that Alzheimer's has taken away the future that Vid and I had hoped for has brought me to a new and unexpected place of living in the moment. The inner peace I feel today sharing our precious time together, and the unconditional love I feel for my husband of forty-seven years are my rewards. I have been able to identify my purpose and make some sense out of my today.

Research Opportunities

Well, we had our evaluation as subjects of the BUAD Research called the HOPE study. The testers were very easy to work with and went slowly explaining what they were looking for. There was a variety of tests, examining spatial accuracy, memory and dexterity. I was a bit anxious going into the testing which is 2 1/2 hours long. We each had to rate several areas of cognition of the other in everyday life, like concentration, attention, use of language, way finding as well as mood regulation.
I would recommend getting into this study for anyone who would like to be a part of finding out what normal cognitive changes are and what are precursors of dementia. There is one appointment per year for 3-4 hours. We're glad we're part of it. And, if either of us shows decline in cognitive functioning, we will be ahead of the treatment game. Since both my in-laws have died with Alzheimer's disease, we are aware of the impact it has on family life.
Go to my website www.StilMee.com
Coach Beverly

Helping our elder parents

Thank you for your questions; important ones! Helping parents takes a coordinated effort of the rest of the family. Couples deny changes in their partners. It is painful to see a spouse lose skills, forget things, respond differently. Couples resist outside helpers, feeling they'd rather do it themselves for as long as they can, even if it is hard. Adult children often have to tread lightly, making subtle changes in the way they relate to the affected parent. It is a trick to give help without making the parent feel helpless. Point out the positive relating that the unaffected spouse is using. Comment on the healthy things they are doing.
A professional can assist the adult children to keep their parents feeling competent and respected while giving the help they need. A dementia coach can be particularly helpful when one parent has memory loss. Our coaches work with the family to meet the tough challenges that come with dementia.
Coach Beverly