Friday, March 26, 2010

Speaking Alzheimer's

Just back from a week in Klamath Falls Oregon and eager to resume searching out talented professionals in New England (for now) who wish to add Alzheimer coaching to their practice. Serving caregivers is so rewarding.
I was on WATD in Marshfield (Massachusetts) this morning (to be aired tomorrow @
8am) speaking about learning to speak Alzheimer's. The best thing to learn to enhance life for your care recipient and ease caregiving for you is to learn a new way of relating. Much of the frustration, yelling out, and aggression is borne out of the lack of education of the caregiver. S/he has to learn a new way of talking; slower, face to face, simpler, with no distractions, etc. I've written a paper called 'How persons with memory loss think differently and How you can help by relating differently'. If you want a copy of it sent to you via email, email me beverly.moore@stilmee.com. I'd be happy to send you a copy. There are about 25-30 sound suggestions.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Heart of the Alzheimer Caregiver

Not all caregivers have a willingness to give care when their family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or other memory disorder. They are scared and unsure what to do and say.
Can being invested in caring in a positive way be learned? I know it can; I’ve seen a very reluctant caregiver daughter develop a heart for caring for her mother who had not been there for her in the past. How is this accomplished?
Caregivers need three (3) things to care willingly. The first is having a sense of competence in managing the changes to their family member that Alzheimer’s brings, The second is validation; being appreciated for what they do. The third is finding satisfaction in the job. Often this is a challenge if going it alone.
It becomes doable with the help of a coach, especially if family support is lacking. A coach teaches you the ‘why’ of the changes in ability and behavior of your family member. She teaches you new ways to respond to those changes that preserve dignity for them and eases caring for you. She points out your successes and celebrates them with you. You find satisfaction in doing things that, although different, work.
The reluctant daughter mentioned above found healing when she gave the care and attention to her mother and realized her mother hadn’t had the capacity to give at the time of the daughter’s childhood. As a result the daughter mended her relationship and ridded herself of old resentments and hurts.

Changing Challenges of Alzheimer Care

The Changing Challenges of Alzheimer Care

How did last year’s caregiving experience go? Caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s or related memory disorder is an ongoing learning process, so if last year was a hard challenge, this year can be better.
Alzheimer caregiving is like parenting children; the parent must keep up with the child’s growth to relate well. Similarly, relating with someone with Alzheimer’s, has to be flexible because the progressive nature of the disease. Alzheimer’s has been described as human development in reverse. Children expand their learning as they grow; persons with Alzheimer’s are losing abilities as the illness progresses. The caregiver must recognize when changes occur and respond accordingly. What worked last year may not this year; adapt your behavior to the decline in ability.

Some suggestions to get you on your way:
• Observe the level of frustration he expresses when trying to do something.
• Offer to help but ask permission. “Do you need some help?” “May I help you?”
• Give only as much help as he needs to proceed with the task. Often all that he needs is a ‘jump start’ and then can figure out the rest. Don’t take over!
• Visual reminders are great ways to give him the jump start. Simply putting something in eye’s view prompts him to begin a task.
• Structure his day; thinking up something to do and organizing is hard for him. It might be time to think of a day program to offer that structure.
• Keep the person socially engaged but not overwhelmed. Doing things with others has a double benefit. It adds purpose to the day and offers socialization.
• The person with Alzheimer’s needs to feel in charge of his life, feel valued and emotionally safe. It is up to the caregiver to provide these.

Beverly’s book Matters of the Mind…and the Heart is available on line @ www.StilMee.com for an autographed copy or go to
www.strategicbookpublishing.com/MattersOfTheMindAndTheHeart.html