Memory Coaching

We are beginning to get calls to coach the person diagnosed with MCI or early stage Alzheimer's. I began to think about what that person needs. He needs a safe place to connect with another trusted person who can validate feelings about the diagnosis, listen to the story,hear its impact of their self image, instill hope and teach strategies to increase the sense of independence and empowerment. The person must learn to toleratie fear and cope with the losses associated with the diagnosis. These losses may be loss of a dream, loss in anticipated independence, loss of a role (in work, in relationship), maybe even loss of friends and family. I would call this Memory Coaching. It is about time we helped the person diagnosed with a cognitive disorder learn about their condition, what changes to expect or anticipate and what simple strategies can help him work with others. If one gets a diagnosis of cancer or heart disease that person is inundated with information about his condition. When my husband had an emergency stent put in his main coronary artery, there was no lack of information both in writing in the form of a rather large detailed folder, and by one staff member after another teaching him about his medication, his activity level limitations (or not; he played racquetball 2 weeks later and returned to working the day after his operation).
So why is it that the person who receives a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment or early stage Alzhiemer's is merely given prescriptions, and little, usually nothing, more; no education, no helpful resources, sometimes not even the phone number of the Alzheimer's Association. Then after the diagnosis is given it is as if he is no longer a person. The medical personnel talks to the partner (wife, husband or child) as if the person with the disease no longer existed. I had one client whose doctor began the follow up visit with a cursury greeting to him and began talking to his wife. "How is it going? What can he still do?" He reached over, tapped the doctor on the chest, and said, "Hey you, I'm the one with the disease, not her! Talk to me." Good for him to do this. Too bad others don't as well.