Make Happiness Happen

I am on WATD tomorrow morning talking about how to bring happiness to someone with dementia. My column in the SS Senior News www.southshoresenior.com has the same ideas. I'm including it here for those of you who don't get the paper (you should; log on and read some good articles)

Make Happiness Happen

Believe it or not, August is Happiness Happens Month. Where do they come up with these titles for months anyway? How does one make happiness happen? One of my coaches, Susan, gave me a plaque that reads: ‘We don’t remember days; we only remember moments.’ That is true for all of us. We remember the joy in seeing our first born for the first time. We remember a moment on a vacation that brings a smile or a tear.
We hear a song and the feeling it evokes brings to remembrance who we were with and what we were doing. We are capable of pulling those special memories out of our head and enjoy them again.
Happiness for the person with Alzheimer’s however doesn’t just happen. Since often all the person with memory loss is aware of is this moment, caregivers need to find how to create as many happy moments throughout the day as possible. For each person this can be different. Does music bring a smile? One wife, unable to make her aphasic husband understand her invitation to come to the table to eat, recalled his happiness while ballroom dancing in years past. They had gone dancing weekly then. She decided to put on dance music each meal and invite him to dance which he willingly did. Then she danced him to the table with a smile. When he saw the visual cues of a meal on the table he was ready to sit and eat. She felt joy seeing the happiness on his face so she continued this dance routine three times a day.
A daughter taped the Judge Judy Show, seeing the enjoyment her mother got whenever she watched it. When her mother became restless or irritable, she popped in a Judge Judy tape. Voila; instant smiles and contentment!
So what makes your family member with Alzheimer’s smile? Is it old photos? Is it plants? Does he love the beach, sunsets, baseball games? Try offering those activities and see what feelings of happiness you can make happen for both of you.
Coach Beverly