The Heart of the Alzheimer Caregiver

Not all caregivers have a willingness to give care when their family member is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or other memory disorder. They are scared and unsure what to do and say.
Can being invested in caring in a positive way be learned? I know it can; I’ve seen a very reluctant caregiver daughter develop a heart for caring for her mother who had not been there for her in the past. How is this accomplished?
Caregivers need three (3) things to care willingly. The first is having a sense of competence in managing the changes to their family member that Alzheimer’s brings, The second is validation; being appreciated for what they do. The third is finding satisfaction in the job. Often this is a challenge if going it alone.
It becomes doable with the help of a coach, especially if family support is lacking. A coach teaches you the ‘why’ of the changes in ability and behavior of your family member. She teaches you new ways to respond to those changes that preserve dignity for them and eases caring for you. She points out your successes and celebrates them with you. You find satisfaction in doing things that, although different, work.
The reluctant daughter mentioned above found healing when she gave the care and attention to her mother and realized her mother hadn’t had the capacity to give at the time of the daughter’s childhood. As a result the daughter mended her relationship and ridded herself of old resentments and hurts.