How many times have I said, "Taking care of you is the best way to take care of your family member with dementia." I don't say that just to be helpful; it is true. When a person who is a caregiver, perhaps a mother or dad working, concerned about family obligations and work obligations, it is easy for that person to just keep going without regard for themselves. I think of a woman I coached who I urged to see a doctor as she was losing weight with no reason. She attributed it to stress of caring for her husband who wouldn't let her out of his sight as he lived with Alzheimer's. Her intentions were good, but it cost her her life. She died of cancer; it had been ravaging her body as she neglected herself in deference to her husband. After she died, he declined rapidly and he's gone now too. It was a sad lesson for those who knew her and were caregivers themselves. Maybe some of them will listen to me now.
Coach Beverly
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Here is a wonerful poem
ReplyDeletePoem for Alzheimer’s Caregivers
Do not ask me to remember.
Don’t try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you’re with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all costs.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting.
Can’t be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ‘til my life is done.
Author Unknown
Compliments of Jane Venckauskas, RN StilMee Coach
Phone 339-788-7338; email jven2@verizon.net