A New Year of Caregiving

In another day it will be a new decade, a new year and time to review how your caregiving is going. Are things the same as a year ago? I doubt it, if you are caring for a family member with memory loss. Diseases of memory loss like Alzheimer's are usually progressive and constantly giving the caregiver new challenges. It may be time to see whether you need to learn new skills to address the changing challenges.
In early memory loss, you learned to tolerate the repeating of information or questions. You were aware that some skills were being lost. You grieved the losses to your way of relating to your family member; perhaps learned how to assume responsibilities he or she once had.
What are your challenges now? Is it adapting to loss of speech? Is it looking at whether it is time for more help, perhaps in the area of a day program? I hope you've located, joined and consistently participate in a support group.
When caring for someone with a chronic progressive illness like Alzheimer's, you must forever be adapting your life to the disease. Keep reading caregiving books and articles. Attend seminars by the Alzheimer's Association to keep up with new trends in care. It isn't as hard with the right information. You can enjoy your family member again; only in a different way.
We've recently added a new service to our list; one of activity planning. Without planned activity to fill the day, caregiving can be very tedious. We will be sharing some of our ideas from time to time. If you have activities that have worked for you, share them with us.

StilMee's Caregiving Collaborations

I guess I'm on a roll to write. I've been giving a lot of talks on Alzheimer management at home. I'm collaborating with 3 other companies to add value to our already good coaching service so that we can cover all the treatment possibilities. Lynn Lazarus Serper, a researcher in brain health, has a Serper Method of brain education to delay the progression of memory loss in persons diagnosed with dementia. I've seen people become engaged happily in their own treatment. It is social, fun, and educational. And it works.Go to www.serpermethod.com
Nancy Emerson Lombardo, another researcher in nutrition and brain health has a great service looking at eating brain healthy foods and adding supplements to augment the benefits. Her company is HealthCareInsights. I'm taking her supplements as is my husband and feeling rested, sleeping well, and having energy in good supply. She is at Look her up at www.healthcareinsights.net
There is another company we are working with;My Way Village of Quincy. We've been involved in a pilot program to learn how to adjust the content of their very successful Connected Living Now product to be Alzheimer friendly and easy for a family caregiver to use. Its goal is to engage the person with Alzheimer's in a fail-free, fun, interactive search into the past to evoke pleasant memories and keep the person connected to family, friends and community. We at StilMee are looking forward to offering this to our caregivers to spend quality time with their family member. I'll let you know when we launch this addition to our coaching services. To learn more about this treatment, go to www.mywayvillage.com
Coach Beverly

Value of being in research studies

I met with a gentleman interested in making it easier to engage people with early stage Alzheimer's in research. It is imperative to the successful completion of a study that people are willing to be in the study. He told me something I'd never thought of before; the cost of research goes up double if the study is unable to retain subjects, and many treatments for Alzheimer's never make it to the table due to lack of study subjects. As I mentioned in another blogspot, my husband and I are in the HOPE study at BU in Boston. I will take part in other research as I am fit as a subject.
What keeps persons in early stage Alzheimer's from participating. It is probably a combination of fear, denial, and not finding the time. But it is imperative we find answers to the Alzheimer dilemma.
As one who has seen the results of not being willing to look at the fact that one has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's, I can say that the journey is much harder for all concerned. Medical and non-medical treatments are available but one won't benefit from them if no one pursues these options.

Too long a time

Readers of Stilmee Blogspot,
It has been 3 months since I posted a blog entry. It has been a busy time planning on new services to offer caregivers. We have partnered with My Way Village to offer an inovative computer based program called Connected Living. It evokes long buried memories that bring joy back to the person with memory loss. I and other StilMee coaches have witnessed the effects of this program on residents of Rogerson House in Jamaica Plain, Boston. People come alive remembering events of their lives that brought them joy and contentment through the introduction of picture cues. One gentleman who looked very apathetic and sleepy came awake at the playing of a clip from Fiddler on the Roof. He sang heartilly the wedding song, then asked me if I'd dance. I did. He twirled me, smiling the whole time. He had been brought back to a joyous time from the past. How very lovely to see him come alive, feel the feeling of joy, and be a man again. I went home later that day elated that he had 'come alive' with music. StilMee is happy to partner with My Way Village to bring this to elders with memory loss and their caregivers. What a wonderful way to tap positive memories and write them down as cherished memoirs.

Coach Beverly

Care for the Caregiver

How many times have I said, "Taking care of you is the best way to take care of your family member with dementia." I don't say that just to be helpful; it is true. When a person who is a caregiver, perhaps a mother or dad working, concerned about family obligations and work obligations, it is easy for that person to just keep going without regard for themselves. I think of a woman I coached who I urged to see a doctor as she was losing weight with no reason. She attributed it to stress of caring for her husband who wouldn't let her out of his sight as he lived with Alzheimer's. Her intentions were good, but it cost her her life. She died of cancer; it had been ravaging her body as she neglected herself in deference to her husband. After she died, he declined rapidly and he's gone now too. It was a sad lesson for those who knew her and were caregivers themselves. Maybe some of them will listen to me now.
Coach Beverly

Alzheimer challenges survey

I am interested in gathering some information about what makes Alzheimer caregivers seek help in understanding the disease.
What are the behaviors that drive you to seek help?
What stage of the disease was your family member in when you sought help?
What stage of caregiving are/were you in?
What kind of information are/were you seeking?

Thanks for your participation in advance.

Gifts of Alzheimer's

True, Alzheimer's disease is a hard disease to handle and sadness is all part of the journey. Having been caregiver myself to 2 family members, I've experienced the angst and the joy of being allowed to share in that journey. I also am writing a book (my second) about my caregiving experience with my mother in law. I am calling it Confessions of an Alzheimer Coach for lack of a better title. It has been a 14 year learning experience with all of the mistakes we made along the way. I too think the book will help others to see that, even when one is a professional in the Alzheimer field, we make mistakes when the patient is our family.
I hope your book is more hopeful than you describe. People caring for a family member with Alzheimer's need hope. Not everyone will experience the experience like you or me. I fear setting them up to expect it to be a harrowing experience would be unkind. The caregiver needs education about the disease, how it manifests itself, and how to relate to the person now with the disease. I'd encourage you to purchase my book at my website. I'd like your comments on that. I wish you a lighter heart and a hope...there are blessings in it all.